My professor showed us this video in class the other day. Watch this and next time you tell someone you think they're pretty, you'll think twice. :)
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Fine Lines: They're everywhere.
I'll be the first to tell you...they suck and they freak me out just a little bit.
We encounter fine lines all the time (whether we're aware of them or not) and they consistently guide how we make decisions in our lives.
For example: At times, there's a fine line between being rude and telling someone like it is. There can be a fine line between doing what society wants you to do and doing what is right for you....etc.
Since I've started my program I've come into contact with many fine lines.
Yesterday in SW 5030: Social Work Practice, Strengths based I learned that there is a very fine line between validating someone and showing them empathy. The different comes down to a choice of about five words and very minute facial expressions. So, you could be aiming to validate someone's feelings...but instead of your face showing understanding, your heart is getting in the way and forcing empathy to be written all over your face.
Allegation of child abuse can be an example of a fine line. It's a dizzying mess of he said/she said/they said and complications all around. What if the child is lying? Well, the child has a history of lying about big stuff. Well, the foster parent has never had any issues at all. Is considered to be a "model" foster parent. Well, we heard she's been under some stress recently. It's a bubble of confusion, and I'm glad I don't have to be the one that investigates and interviews and makes these kinds of decisions....yet.
As part of my stipend, I will have to work at Child Protective Services next year. While I look forward to gaining the experience and knowledge, I will admit that I am apprehensive and a little scared. CPS is well-known to be the hardest work in social work. As a CPS worker, you're on the front lines and have to make these types of decisions. Decisions about whether the child can remain in home, if they need to be removed, etc.
Decisions like these, especially because they usually are fine line decisions are difficult. You have to hope that your education and experience will guide you well...then you make what you think is the best decision...and hold on.
At the moment, I am being affected most by the fine line between education and being thrown to the sharks. As part of our program we have to work 16 hours a week in a field practicum placement (aka an internship). As I've stated before, I've been placed at a local foster family agency that is relatively small.
Initially I had a little bit of trouble adjusting to the vast amount of differences between this agency and my previous agency. After what seemed like very little amounts of training, on our second "official" day at the agency, we were given our caseloads. There have been many mixed messages passed around as to what we're supposed to be doing with our caseloads. We have been told to read up on all of them, note what needs updating, and to set up home visits. We're technically supposed to have supervising social workers, but they seem to only be supervising on specific kids.
So, we've essentially taken on the role of MSW-level social workers, managing caseloads of 7-12 foster children after only a month of being in the program. There are five of us interns and we have taken on around 70-80% of the agency's entire caseload.
It's stressful. Having to schedule three familes' two home visits a month when you're only in the office two days a week and they can only meet at 4:30...is daunting. I mentioned this offhand to my field liaison and he said "you guys should NOT have caseloads that large."
The kicker came yesterday in the form of an email from the agency. It informed us that we will not be given our mileage reimbursement checks until all of our clients files are updated.
WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We've only been allowed to actually see kids for seventeen days (6 working days for us). I haven't even met all of my clients. Can't update their files if I haven't met them. Also, some of the things in their files have been overdue since June (3 mos before we got here). *end rant here*.
We're supposed to be there to learn. I get it if their way of learning is to throw you in the pool and see if you can stay afloat, but...in this case, there's a fine line between providing a meaningful education and mentoring for the interns...and taking advantage of free labor.
When your interns can't get their reading and homework done because they didn't get home from a home visit till 7pm and had to spend their evening completing paperwork for the county, there's an issue.
I kind of want to confront my field liaison about this ...but I don't know if I'll do it without the support of my fellow interns. I don't want to seem like I'm not willing to do the work or grateful for a placement, or a snitch...because my field liaison loves my supervisor and thinks he's put us in the best placement. It's a hard fine line. Trust in your professor or follow your perceptions?
Encountering fine lines is just another lesson in school of life. After all, "experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards." -Anonymous
We encounter fine lines all the time (whether we're aware of them or not) and they consistently guide how we make decisions in our lives.
For example: At times, there's a fine line between being rude and telling someone like it is. There can be a fine line between doing what society wants you to do and doing what is right for you....etc.
Since I've started my program I've come into contact with many fine lines.
Yesterday in SW 5030: Social Work Practice, Strengths based I learned that there is a very fine line between validating someone and showing them empathy. The different comes down to a choice of about five words and very minute facial expressions. So, you could be aiming to validate someone's feelings...but instead of your face showing understanding, your heart is getting in the way and forcing empathy to be written all over your face.
Allegation of child abuse can be an example of a fine line. It's a dizzying mess of he said/she said/they said and complications all around. What if the child is lying? Well, the child has a history of lying about big stuff. Well, the foster parent has never had any issues at all. Is considered to be a "model" foster parent. Well, we heard she's been under some stress recently. It's a bubble of confusion, and I'm glad I don't have to be the one that investigates and interviews and makes these kinds of decisions....yet.
As part of my stipend, I will have to work at Child Protective Services next year. While I look forward to gaining the experience and knowledge, I will admit that I am apprehensive and a little scared. CPS is well-known to be the hardest work in social work. As a CPS worker, you're on the front lines and have to make these types of decisions. Decisions about whether the child can remain in home, if they need to be removed, etc.
Decisions like these, especially because they usually are fine line decisions are difficult. You have to hope that your education and experience will guide you well...then you make what you think is the best decision...and hold on.
At the moment, I am being affected most by the fine line between education and being thrown to the sharks. As part of our program we have to work 16 hours a week in a field practicum placement (aka an internship). As I've stated before, I've been placed at a local foster family agency that is relatively small.
Initially I had a little bit of trouble adjusting to the vast amount of differences between this agency and my previous agency. After what seemed like very little amounts of training, on our second "official" day at the agency, we were given our caseloads. There have been many mixed messages passed around as to what we're supposed to be doing with our caseloads. We have been told to read up on all of them, note what needs updating, and to set up home visits. We're technically supposed to have supervising social workers, but they seem to only be supervising on specific kids.
So, we've essentially taken on the role of MSW-level social workers, managing caseloads of 7-12 foster children after only a month of being in the program. There are five of us interns and we have taken on around 70-80% of the agency's entire caseload.
It's stressful. Having to schedule three familes' two home visits a month when you're only in the office two days a week and they can only meet at 4:30...is daunting. I mentioned this offhand to my field liaison and he said "you guys should NOT have caseloads that large."
The kicker came yesterday in the form of an email from the agency. It informed us that we will not be given our mileage reimbursement checks until all of our clients files are updated.
WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We've only been allowed to actually see kids for seventeen days (6 working days for us). I haven't even met all of my clients. Can't update their files if I haven't met them. Also, some of the things in their files have been overdue since June (3 mos before we got here). *end rant here*.
We're supposed to be there to learn. I get it if their way of learning is to throw you in the pool and see if you can stay afloat, but...in this case, there's a fine line between providing a meaningful education and mentoring for the interns...and taking advantage of free labor.
When your interns can't get their reading and homework done because they didn't get home from a home visit till 7pm and had to spend their evening completing paperwork for the county, there's an issue.
I kind of want to confront my field liaison about this ...but I don't know if I'll do it without the support of my fellow interns. I don't want to seem like I'm not willing to do the work or grateful for a placement, or a snitch...because my field liaison loves my supervisor and thinks he's put us in the best placement. It's a hard fine line. Trust in your professor or follow your perceptions?
Encountering fine lines is just another lesson in school of life. After all, "experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards." -Anonymous
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Commitment: To our phones, cars, friends, but not our foster kids?
Late on Sunday night I could be found curled up on my couch, working away at my problem formulation paper. Yes, yes...I know I have a problem. It's called procrastination. I'm working on it ;)
In my research class we were told to write a problem formulation paper. To think about a problem in society, formulate a research question, and discuss causes, factors, and possible solutions.
I chose to look at adoption assistance programs. After a few hours of research that left my brain spinning I discovered there were two types of adoption assistance (for the adoption of foster children): assistance with the costs of the adoption process and/or a recurring payment (usually in the same amount the foster parent was receiving while the child was in foster care) every month till the child is eighteen.
This left me wondering...why aren't more foster parents adopting if they can receive the financial assistance to do so?
Later in the paper I speculated that maybe they weren't doing so because of the commitment. Given, it is a rather large commitment. In addition to the financial and time commitments foster parents are already experiencing, it is a legal and final commitment to a child.
I'll be the first to tell you that commitments freak me out. I didn't sleep for a week when I bought my car, and recently, had a minor panic attack when I promised two years of my life after the MSW program away in exchange for a free MSW degree.
It makes me think about all the commitments we make in our lives like two year cell phone plans, cars, houses, credit cards, etc...and sometimes we don't even think about the commitment.
Commitments are great when you can foresee a way out, or even have a backup plan. Using this logic, I understand why most foster parents might not be willing to make the commitment. It's scary and there doesn't appear to be an easy way out if things get tough.
So, I offered a solution.
Offering post adoptive services like parental and child support groups, counseling, and respite may make the transition smoother and perhaps, not nearly as frightening. The feeling of being supported can not only make the foster parent feel safe but also the child, creating a seamless transition and a solid relationship.
It's kind of like that in life too. If I hadn't had my friends and significant other there to support me when I bought my car or signed years of my life away, I don't know if I would've done either..or if I did, I would probably worry myself to death.
Keep making responsible commitments, but keep your support system close. There won't always be post-commitment support services in real life situations.
In my research class we were told to write a problem formulation paper. To think about a problem in society, formulate a research question, and discuss causes, factors, and possible solutions.
I chose to look at adoption assistance programs. After a few hours of research that left my brain spinning I discovered there were two types of adoption assistance (for the adoption of foster children): assistance with the costs of the adoption process and/or a recurring payment (usually in the same amount the foster parent was receiving while the child was in foster care) every month till the child is eighteen.
This left me wondering...why aren't more foster parents adopting if they can receive the financial assistance to do so?
Later in the paper I speculated that maybe they weren't doing so because of the commitment. Given, it is a rather large commitment. In addition to the financial and time commitments foster parents are already experiencing, it is a legal and final commitment to a child.
I'll be the first to tell you that commitments freak me out. I didn't sleep for a week when I bought my car, and recently, had a minor panic attack when I promised two years of my life after the MSW program away in exchange for a free MSW degree.
It makes me think about all the commitments we make in our lives like two year cell phone plans, cars, houses, credit cards, etc...and sometimes we don't even think about the commitment.
Commitments are great when you can foresee a way out, or even have a backup plan. Using this logic, I understand why most foster parents might not be willing to make the commitment. It's scary and there doesn't appear to be an easy way out if things get tough.
So, I offered a solution.
Offering post adoptive services like parental and child support groups, counseling, and respite may make the transition smoother and perhaps, not nearly as frightening. The feeling of being supported can not only make the foster parent feel safe but also the child, creating a seamless transition and a solid relationship.
It's kind of like that in life too. If I hadn't had my friends and significant other there to support me when I bought my car or signed years of my life away, I don't know if I would've done either..or if I did, I would probably worry myself to death.
Keep making responsible commitments, but keep your support system close. There won't always be post-commitment support services in real life situations.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Meds and kids, kids and meds: Creating a divide among social work professionals everywhere
I was attending field seminar the other day when this topic came about. Field seminar, I should explain, it like a small group that is comprised mostly of interns like yourself that work at your agency or similar ones. We all come together twice a month along with our field liaison (our professor) to discuss how everything in field is going along with airing any concerns we have about our placements. We met at our local CSA (Community Services Agency), which I learned houses most county social service agencies/all the county social workers. Really cool!
In addition to our professor, there were six of us. Two women who are in the three year program and work in that building and four of us who all work at the same nonprofit FFA. The topic of kids and meds was brought about by one of the three year program students.
Kids and meds is a really tough topic. When I say kids and meds, I mean kids that are on psychotropic medications (just to clarify). It usually creates a divide amongst people and causes you to examine your paradigm (beliefs, past experiences, what led you to believe the way you do).
You will suddenly find yourself surrounded by many differing opinions.
As we went around the table and shared, everyone brought a different opinion and story to the table. The woman who brought up the topic already works in the field and has witnessed kids that are on multiple medications. She said some kids are on so many meds that they start having side effects like ticks that they then have to prescribe another medication to take care of.
One woman thought that none of these kids needed medication and that they needed intense therapy. Our professor does not believe that mental illness even exists.
The woman sitting next to me began to tell the story of her father that had been suffering from depression and tears began to well up in her eyes as she talked about how it was hard because he wasn't himself and they tried medication on him and it made him worse and how her family is still struggling with it...so she is not an advocate for psychotropic medication at all.
When it came to my turn, I had a hard time organizing my thoughts.
Naturally, my paradigm played a giant role and really affected my perceptions of these beliefs and stories. As I listened to the first woman's story, I couldn't help but reflect back to my internship at the previous FFA, where I worked with severely emotionally disturbed kids. Most of those kids were on medication, and if you had asked anyone there, they really needed it. These kids jumped out of moving cars, tried to assault other people, and many more jaw-dropping worthy things.
As I listened to the second woman's story, my heart and head wanted to yell, wait wait wait...therapy cannot solve all problems. And as I listened to the third woman's story, my heart literally wanted to jump out of my chest.
I hypothesized that I was probably the only person in the room that had ever been diagnosed with a mental illness and treated for it.
That alone, shapes my entire paradigm.
Part of me wanted to scream: "How can you possibly be able to hold true to an opinion on something you've never even experienced?"
As I began to speak, I explained that I had been diagnosed and have been treated using both therapy and medication. I told them that just therapy isn't always the answer for people. That some days when you've forgotten to take your meds its like a little voice that sits in the back of your head and tells you mean things and makes you paranoid. This voice, no matter how many times you try to be rational and tell yourself you're being ridiculous, you just can't win and have to constantly fight that losing battle. I told them that when I take my medication after not taking it for a day or two, it's as if life makes sense again. Like you've been driving in the fog for two days and you finally escape it feeling like you can take on the world again.
I'm lucky that I've been able to find a medication that works so well for me, but I have had issues with medication in the past, including a situation similar to the woman who talked about her dad. The fact is, I moved past that hurdle and kept trying meds until I found one that worked for me.
So, as a person who has been so positively affected by the use of medication, its was hard to sit in that seminar and listen to everyone's opinions, feeling like the odd person out.
In social work, we're taught to respect others' paradigms and always put the best interest of the child first. At this point, I don't know how I feel about meds and kids. It's scary to think that sometime in the near future, I'm going to have to provide input on these kinds of decisions. It's issues like these that make you feel like you're forced to make decisions about what kind of social worker you'll be.
Being challenged is always a good teaching tool, but sometimes when the object of challenge is close to your heart, you must be able to clearly see both sides of the issue.
In addition to our professor, there were six of us. Two women who are in the three year program and work in that building and four of us who all work at the same nonprofit FFA. The topic of kids and meds was brought about by one of the three year program students.
Kids and meds is a really tough topic. When I say kids and meds, I mean kids that are on psychotropic medications (just to clarify). It usually creates a divide amongst people and causes you to examine your paradigm (beliefs, past experiences, what led you to believe the way you do).
You will suddenly find yourself surrounded by many differing opinions.
As we went around the table and shared, everyone brought a different opinion and story to the table. The woman who brought up the topic already works in the field and has witnessed kids that are on multiple medications. She said some kids are on so many meds that they start having side effects like ticks that they then have to prescribe another medication to take care of.
One woman thought that none of these kids needed medication and that they needed intense therapy. Our professor does not believe that mental illness even exists.
The woman sitting next to me began to tell the story of her father that had been suffering from depression and tears began to well up in her eyes as she talked about how it was hard because he wasn't himself and they tried medication on him and it made him worse and how her family is still struggling with it...so she is not an advocate for psychotropic medication at all.
When it came to my turn, I had a hard time organizing my thoughts.
Naturally, my paradigm played a giant role and really affected my perceptions of these beliefs and stories. As I listened to the first woman's story, I couldn't help but reflect back to my internship at the previous FFA, where I worked with severely emotionally disturbed kids. Most of those kids were on medication, and if you had asked anyone there, they really needed it. These kids jumped out of moving cars, tried to assault other people, and many more jaw-dropping worthy things.
As I listened to the second woman's story, my heart and head wanted to yell, wait wait wait...therapy cannot solve all problems. And as I listened to the third woman's story, my heart literally wanted to jump out of my chest.
I hypothesized that I was probably the only person in the room that had ever been diagnosed with a mental illness and treated for it.
That alone, shapes my entire paradigm.
Part of me wanted to scream: "How can you possibly be able to hold true to an opinion on something you've never even experienced?"
As I began to speak, I explained that I had been diagnosed and have been treated using both therapy and medication. I told them that just therapy isn't always the answer for people. That some days when you've forgotten to take your meds its like a little voice that sits in the back of your head and tells you mean things and makes you paranoid. This voice, no matter how many times you try to be rational and tell yourself you're being ridiculous, you just can't win and have to constantly fight that losing battle. I told them that when I take my medication after not taking it for a day or two, it's as if life makes sense again. Like you've been driving in the fog for two days and you finally escape it feeling like you can take on the world again.
I'm lucky that I've been able to find a medication that works so well for me, but I have had issues with medication in the past, including a situation similar to the woman who talked about her dad. The fact is, I moved past that hurdle and kept trying meds until I found one that worked for me.
So, as a person who has been so positively affected by the use of medication, its was hard to sit in that seminar and listen to everyone's opinions, feeling like the odd person out.
In social work, we're taught to respect others' paradigms and always put the best interest of the child first. At this point, I don't know how I feel about meds and kids. It's scary to think that sometime in the near future, I'm going to have to provide input on these kinds of decisions. It's issues like these that make you feel like you're forced to make decisions about what kind of social worker you'll be.
Being challenged is always a good teaching tool, but sometimes when the object of challenge is close to your heart, you must be able to clearly see both sides of the issue.
Being the new kid is hard...that is, until you realize that everyone's the new kid too.
I don't think I have to tell you that being the new kid has a large element of scary to it.
I remember that first day of MSW Orientation: August 17, 2011. As I was making sure my hair was all in place, my makeup done, and my outfit not too casual but not super professional, my hands shook and the butterflies worked in overdrive. It's been five years since I've had to be the new kid.
I always hated being the new kid when I was little because I never felt like I belonged anywhere. So, as I headed to the orientation I was apprehensive, knowing that all of us will be working very closely together for the next two years and we will eventually be colleagues.
So, as I've learned to do from too many Alpha Xi events and recruitments, I put my game face on and sat down.
Everyone was so nice and clearly as scared as I was. Throughout those two days of orientation I met many people, including three people who I now, even after only knowing them for a month consider to be my close friends.
They have made all the difference in my approach and attitude toward the program. They're my support system. It's like for the first time in my life I feel comfortable, accepted, and like I belong. The three of them are so fantastic and even though we're all vastly different we can still sit around the lunch table, contemplate life and ask each other questions without worrying about offending. That's not to say that we definitely don't sit in the back of class and occasionally make sarcastic comments....but its nice to always have a group to work with on group projects and people to have Spiceworld movie nights with.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Intro
It's my day off and I'm about a month into the program. These concepts of time make you think, or really, just give you time to think. How did I get here?
Flashback to Spring 2009. I'm still a music major. After spending a Winter term dreading going to Magic Flute rehearsal and being insanely stressed out by working and taking a class at the same time...I basically fell apart, and decided to take a semester away from music for all aspects of my health. So, I enrolled in some sociology classes as "fun" classes. By the end of that semester, I was registered as a sociology major.
Fast forward through lots of nerdiness and loving my classes and you arrive at my 2nd senior year, where as part of my program, I had to do an internship. After dragging my feet for a few weeks, I found an internship at a nonprofit foster family and adoption agency.
I knew the second I walked into their office, I was in love. All of the staff was amazing and cared so very deeply for their "kids" and even though these kids were supposedly the "hardest" of the bunch, hugs, smiles, and laughs were never in short supply.
The year I spent there changed my entire life. It was as if the fog had finally lifted, I could see clearly and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life.
I applied to two graduate schools, one that was about an hour away, and one that is part of the school I did my undergrad at.
I waited four very very very long months for a letter, thinking that the school that was an hour away was the dream. The dream didn't have space for me in their program, which left me crushed.
I allowed myself to be crushed for all of about 15 hours before turning in my acceptance of admission to the school I was already attending and vowed to make it the best it could possibly be.
As the saying goes "it was a blessing in disguise"...it truly was. When all was said and done I was glad to be staying here, surrounded by friends, sorority sisters, and family. And, I was offered a full scholarship for my program. How could you say no to that?!
So, here I am, a month into my program. I remember being absolutely terrified to start it because I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know anyone in the program, and even though I had already been attending this school for five years, it felt like I was the new kid all over again.
As I left my first day of classes feeling empowered, intelligent, and grinning, I knew this had to be one of the best decisions I've ever made.
For the past month I've been doing my field practicum (or internship) at another nonprofit foster family agency. I am officially an MSW Intern but unofficially, an acting social worker. I have a caseload, have to perform home visits, and get to do lots and lots of lovely paperwork.
In this blog, I want to try to document my thoughts, feelings, and just anything else that happens while I'm in the program. Wow..that sounds like I'm trying to do a study on myself. I just thought it would be cool to see how I change as a person, as a social worker, and as a student throughout this program.
So, if you've made it down to this point, congrats! Thank you for reading, sorry for rambling, and I hope you come back to read.
Flashback to Spring 2009. I'm still a music major. After spending a Winter term dreading going to Magic Flute rehearsal and being insanely stressed out by working and taking a class at the same time...I basically fell apart, and decided to take a semester away from music for all aspects of my health. So, I enrolled in some sociology classes as "fun" classes. By the end of that semester, I was registered as a sociology major.
Fast forward through lots of nerdiness and loving my classes and you arrive at my 2nd senior year, where as part of my program, I had to do an internship. After dragging my feet for a few weeks, I found an internship at a nonprofit foster family and adoption agency.
I knew the second I walked into their office, I was in love. All of the staff was amazing and cared so very deeply for their "kids" and even though these kids were supposedly the "hardest" of the bunch, hugs, smiles, and laughs were never in short supply.
The year I spent there changed my entire life. It was as if the fog had finally lifted, I could see clearly and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life.
I applied to two graduate schools, one that was about an hour away, and one that is part of the school I did my undergrad at.
I waited four very very very long months for a letter, thinking that the school that was an hour away was the dream. The dream didn't have space for me in their program, which left me crushed.
I allowed myself to be crushed for all of about 15 hours before turning in my acceptance of admission to the school I was already attending and vowed to make it the best it could possibly be.
As the saying goes "it was a blessing in disguise"...it truly was. When all was said and done I was glad to be staying here, surrounded by friends, sorority sisters, and family. And, I was offered a full scholarship for my program. How could you say no to that?!
So, here I am, a month into my program. I remember being absolutely terrified to start it because I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know anyone in the program, and even though I had already been attending this school for five years, it felt like I was the new kid all over again.
As I left my first day of classes feeling empowered, intelligent, and grinning, I knew this had to be one of the best decisions I've ever made.
For the past month I've been doing my field practicum (or internship) at another nonprofit foster family agency. I am officially an MSW Intern but unofficially, an acting social worker. I have a caseload, have to perform home visits, and get to do lots and lots of lovely paperwork.
In this blog, I want to try to document my thoughts, feelings, and just anything else that happens while I'm in the program. Wow..that sounds like I'm trying to do a study on myself. I just thought it would be cool to see how I change as a person, as a social worker, and as a student throughout this program.
So, if you've made it down to this point, congrats! Thank you for reading, sorry for rambling, and I hope you come back to read.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)