Commitment: To our phones, cars, friends, but not our foster kids?

Late on Sunday night I could be found curled up on my couch, working away at my problem formulation paper. Yes, yes...I know I have a problem. It's called procrastination. I'm working on it ;)

In my research class we were told to write a problem formulation paper. To think about a problem in society, formulate a research question, and discuss causes, factors, and possible solutions.

I chose to look at adoption assistance programs. After a few hours of research that left my brain spinning I discovered there were two types of adoption assistance (for the adoption of foster children): assistance with the costs of the adoption process and/or a recurring payment (usually in the same amount the foster parent was receiving while the child was in foster care) every month till the child is eighteen.

This left me wondering...why aren't more foster parents adopting if they can receive the financial assistance to do so?

Later in the paper I speculated that maybe they weren't doing so because of the commitment. Given, it is a rather large commitment. In addition to the financial and time commitments foster parents are already experiencing, it is a legal and final commitment to a child.

I'll be the first to tell you that commitments freak me out. I didn't sleep for a week when I bought my car, and recently, had a minor panic attack when I promised two years of my life after the MSW program away in exchange for a free MSW degree.

It makes me think about all the commitments we make in our lives like two year cell phone plans, cars, houses, credit cards, etc...and sometimes we don't even think about the commitment.

Commitments are great when you can foresee a way out, or even have a backup plan. Using this logic, I understand why most foster parents might not be willing to make the commitment. It's scary and there doesn't appear to be an easy way out if things get tough.

So, I offered a solution.

Offering post adoptive services like parental and child support groups, counseling, and respite may make the transition smoother and perhaps, not nearly as frightening. The feeling of being supported can not only make the foster parent feel safe but also the child, creating a seamless transition and a solid relationship.

It's kind of like that in life too. If I hadn't had my friends and significant other there to support me when I bought my car or signed years of my life away, I don't know if I would've done either..or if I did, I would probably worry myself to death.

Keep making responsible commitments, but keep your support system close. There won't always be post-commitment support services in real life situations.