Revelations

A few weeks ago I was asked to come and speak to a Sociology senior seminar class about the MSW program. So, I prepared some facts and dates and went to speak.

What I didn't prepare for, was to get there and talk about how much the program can change your life and how much it has already changed mine.

Yeah, they definitely don't put that in the brochure.

From day one of the program your entire value system, beliefs about education, and knowledge base are questioned, challenged, and changed. You're taught to fully commit to your beliefs but at the same time, pull off being Switzerland and validating your clients.

My time in this program has been the first time in my entire life that I've felt fully accepted for who I am. I've developed a stronger commitment to the issues I already felt so strongly about.

From an educational standpoint, we learn how many different possibilities there are for learning. We've all grown up as products of banking education, which means teachers have spouted out information at us, we take it in like sponges and spit it back out. In my policy class, we practice problem-posing education. We sit in a circle because that divides the power equally and enables the students to be the teacher and teacher to be the student. We lead group discussions and there are no tests. We make group decisions about how we want to be graded and what will be the most effective learning strategies for us all. It goes against everything we've ever been taught in banking education and feels so weird to do at first, but I feel like I'm being challenged and learning so much more.

The majority of my growth has occurred via my learning in my Social Work Practice class. There we learn therapeutic techniques as well as coping skills, and all about human emotion. We often practice therapizing with our classmates to use our learned skills.

I never expected to learn so much about myself through learning how to learn about other people and help them. I've gotten to the root of many deep-seeded issues in my life and have been able to reflect on situations and know why I acted the way I did. Or, how I am affected now by the things that happened so long ago. This feels utterly dismantling and like soul cleansing all at the same time.

Revelations: they happen in the MSW program. They've happened to me, they've happened to everyone.They can be good and bad and may be something you'll struggle with for the rest of your life. Never did you imagine graduate school would change you this much.

"There's no limit to how much you'll know, depending how far beyond zebra you go." -Dr. Seuss

Take the lead of the MSW program and challenge yourself. Have a revelation. Learn as much as you can. Go beyond zebra and see what you can find because "progress is not possible without challenge and change." Believe me, it'll do your soul some good. 

P-O-W-E-R, It's confusing.

Power.

We all have it, whether we think we do or not.

Throughout our lives, we gain and lose varying levels of power.

In my life, I've always struggled with the notion of power. I've always been easygoing and I hate conflict. I always have. It has just always been easier to let others make decisions for me and me to just go with it.

You lose a lot of yourself when that happens.

In high school, I was so lost and mixed up that I let somebody else make all of my decisions. They dictated what I wore, what I ate, where I went, what I did, what I watched, etc. As I recently learned in one of my classes, the most crucial years to independence and identity development are ages 12-18.

When I came to college, I was lost. Suddenly, I was on my own and I was forced to make my own decisions, and essentially, have power for the first time in a very long time.

Being empowered or having power is a mutually thrilling and terrifying thing.

I am reminded of this very confusing concept more and more now that I'm working in the social work field.

As social workers, you're there for the client, and they have the power. At the same time, you ultimately have the final say...which means...you ultimately have the power. This is also the same with foster parents.

Foster parents will let me know what's going on and what they've done, but will look to me for advice/instructions. I'll be frank; it scares the shit out of me when they do that. It's one of those moments that make me think:

"I'm only 23 years old. I was a crazy abnormal teenager, and I've only done a small amount of babysitting of kids that are 0-8. How am I qualified to do this?!?!"

Due to this, I've been attempting to work on not looking like a deer in headlights when this happens. It all feels so crazy and overwhelming to me. I'm not used to being in power and all of the sudden, I'm the one they look to for advice.

I know I'm going to encounter this constant power struggle/concept of power for the rest of my career in social work. There will be times when I'm utterly powerless in situations dominated by others (ex: decisions made by judges, supervisors, etc) and there will always be those times where I hold the power and have to weigh the options and act in everyones' best interest.

Social work is a constant power struggle and frankly, so is life. Everyone has some form of power and it really comes down to how you go about handling it. Personally, I see each situation as a learning experience and a challenge to myself to do something I'm scared to do.

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -Winston Churchill

Be the optimist. Use whatever power you possess for good. And most of all, challenge yourself. Growth does not happen without challenge.