A few weeks ago I was asked to come and speak to a Sociology senior seminar class about the MSW program. So, I prepared some facts and dates and went to speak.
What I didn't prepare for, was to get there and talk about how much the program can change your life and how much it has already changed mine.
Yeah, they definitely don't put that in the brochure.
From day one of the program your entire value system, beliefs about education, and knowledge base are questioned, challenged, and changed. You're taught to fully commit to your beliefs but at the same time, pull off being Switzerland and validating your clients.
My time in this program has been the first time in my entire life that I've felt fully accepted for who I am. I've developed a stronger commitment to the issues I already felt so strongly about.
From an educational standpoint, we learn how many different possibilities there are for learning. We've all grown up as products of banking education, which means teachers have spouted out information at us, we take it in like sponges and spit it back out. In my policy class, we practice problem-posing education. We sit in a circle because that divides the power equally and enables the students to be the teacher and teacher to be the student. We lead group discussions and there are no tests. We make group decisions about how we want to be graded and what will be the most effective learning strategies for us all. It goes against everything we've ever been taught in banking education and feels so weird to do at first, but I feel like I'm being challenged and learning so much more.
The majority of my growth has occurred via my learning in my Social Work Practice class. There we learn therapeutic techniques as well as coping skills, and all about human emotion. We often practice therapizing with our classmates to use our learned skills.
I never expected to learn so much about myself through learning how to learn about other people and help them. I've gotten to the root of many deep-seeded issues in my life and have been able to reflect on situations and know why I acted the way I did. Or, how I am affected now by the things that happened so long ago. This feels utterly dismantling and like soul cleansing all at the same time.
Revelations: they happen in the MSW program. They've happened to me, they've happened to everyone.They can be good and bad and may be something you'll struggle with for the rest of your life. Never did you imagine graduate school would change you this much.
"There's no limit to how much you'll know, depending how far beyond zebra you go." -Dr. Seuss
Take the lead of the MSW program and challenge yourself. Have a revelation. Learn as much as you can. Go beyond zebra and see what you can find because "progress is not possible without challenge and change." Believe me, it'll do your soul some good.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
P-O-W-E-R, It's confusing.
Power.
We all have it, whether we think we do or not.
Throughout our lives, we gain and lose varying levels of power.
In my life, I've always struggled with the notion of power. I've always been easygoing and I hate conflict. I always have. It has just always been easier to let others make decisions for me and me to just go with it.
You lose a lot of yourself when that happens.
In high school, I was so lost and mixed up that I let somebody else make all of my decisions. They dictated what I wore, what I ate, where I went, what I did, what I watched, etc. As I recently learned in one of my classes, the most crucial years to independence and identity development are ages 12-18.
When I came to college, I was lost. Suddenly, I was on my own and I was forced to make my own decisions, and essentially, have power for the first time in a very long time.
Being empowered or having power is a mutually thrilling and terrifying thing.
I am reminded of this very confusing concept more and more now that I'm working in the social work field.
As social workers, you're there for the client, and they have the power. At the same time, you ultimately have the final say...which means...you ultimately have the power. This is also the same with foster parents.
Foster parents will let me know what's going on and what they've done, but will look to me for advice/instructions. I'll be frank; it scares the shit out of me when they do that. It's one of those moments that make me think:
"I'm only 23 years old. I was a crazy abnormal teenager, and I've only done a small amount of babysitting of kids that are 0-8. How am I qualified to do this?!?!"
Due to this, I've been attempting to work on not looking like a deer in headlights when this happens. It all feels so crazy and overwhelming to me. I'm not used to being in power and all of the sudden, I'm the one they look to for advice.
I know I'm going to encounter this constant power struggle/concept of power for the rest of my career in social work. There will be times when I'm utterly powerless in situations dominated by others (ex: decisions made by judges, supervisors, etc) and there will always be those times where I hold the power and have to weigh the options and act in everyones' best interest.
Social work is a constant power struggle and frankly, so is life. Everyone has some form of power and it really comes down to how you go about handling it. Personally, I see each situation as a learning experience and a challenge to myself to do something I'm scared to do.
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -Winston Churchill
Be the optimist. Use whatever power you possess for good. And most of all, challenge yourself. Growth does not happen without challenge.
We all have it, whether we think we do or not.
Throughout our lives, we gain and lose varying levels of power.
In my life, I've always struggled with the notion of power. I've always been easygoing and I hate conflict. I always have. It has just always been easier to let others make decisions for me and me to just go with it.
You lose a lot of yourself when that happens.
In high school, I was so lost and mixed up that I let somebody else make all of my decisions. They dictated what I wore, what I ate, where I went, what I did, what I watched, etc. As I recently learned in one of my classes, the most crucial years to independence and identity development are ages 12-18.
When I came to college, I was lost. Suddenly, I was on my own and I was forced to make my own decisions, and essentially, have power for the first time in a very long time.
Being empowered or having power is a mutually thrilling and terrifying thing.
I am reminded of this very confusing concept more and more now that I'm working in the social work field.
As social workers, you're there for the client, and they have the power. At the same time, you ultimately have the final say...which means...you ultimately have the power. This is also the same with foster parents.
Foster parents will let me know what's going on and what they've done, but will look to me for advice/instructions. I'll be frank; it scares the shit out of me when they do that. It's one of those moments that make me think:
"I'm only 23 years old. I was a crazy abnormal teenager, and I've only done a small amount of babysitting of kids that are 0-8. How am I qualified to do this?!?!"
Due to this, I've been attempting to work on not looking like a deer in headlights when this happens. It all feels so crazy and overwhelming to me. I'm not used to being in power and all of the sudden, I'm the one they look to for advice.
I know I'm going to encounter this constant power struggle/concept of power for the rest of my career in social work. There will be times when I'm utterly powerless in situations dominated by others (ex: decisions made by judges, supervisors, etc) and there will always be those times where I hold the power and have to weigh the options and act in everyones' best interest.
Social work is a constant power struggle and frankly, so is life. Everyone has some form of power and it really comes down to how you go about handling it. Personally, I see each situation as a learning experience and a challenge to myself to do something I'm scared to do.
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -Winston Churchill
Be the optimist. Use whatever power you possess for good. And most of all, challenge yourself. Growth does not happen without challenge.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Practicing Clarification
In Social Work Practice class today, we learned about validation and clarification.
Validation involves hearing what someone has to say and you letting them know you heard them.
Ex: John: I feel sad when we run out of my favorite coffee creamer. Jane: I hear you. You are sad when we run out of your favorite coffee creamer.
Clarification involves restating the person's statement in order to validate, gain a better understanding, and open the metaphorical door for the person to continue.
One of my readers communicated to me that she got a little lost in the lingo in the last post. I'm sorry if it was somewhat confusing.
So, I would like to do a little lesson to practice clarification.
Progress notes : notes that are kept in client's files (kind of like status updates but longer) that we write every time we see the client or communicate with someone on their behalf. Social workers use these to refer back to and these notes can sometimes be used in court.
SOC160 : A form required by many counties that has to be completed once a month. It's basically a form that you throw progress notes from your visit on and send it in. It allows the county to get credit for a visit for that month (even though you're the one doing all the work).
Quarterlies : These are reports that are completed every three months. They provide information about the last three months in a client's life as well as make action plans to address any problems or concerns with the clients.
NSP (Needs & Service Plan) : Similar to a quarterly, it is a report that assesses the needs of the client and comes up with action plans to fulfill those needs. These are done every 4-6 months.
Paperwork, etc : This includes all other forms to be completed on the client's behalf like clothing inventory, allowance tracking, physicals, dental visits, and any communication with their school and/or county social worker.
Mileage reimbursement : I am not paid to work at my internship, but when I go out on visits, I am reimbursed for mileage. This is super nice because I have homes that are 60 miles from my home.
Title IV-E program : aka the Child Welfare Training Project. It is a federal grant that supports most foster children/foster agencies, and also supports programs that turns out child welfare workers. I applied to be (and got in to be) part of the Title IV-E stipend program. I receive $37,000 over the two years of my MSW and in return, I have to work for the state for two years in child welfare after I graduate.
I hope I clarified some things for you and don't hesitate to comment if you're ever confused or have further questions. It can definitely be a land of dizzying lingo.
Well...I'm off. I leave tomorrow for the statewide meeting in LA. It will be interesting to be in a room with so many other social workers!
Have a great weekend!
"To listen is an effort, and just to hear is no merit. A duck hears also." -Igor Stravinsky
Validation involves hearing what someone has to say and you letting them know you heard them.
Ex: John: I feel sad when we run out of my favorite coffee creamer. Jane: I hear you. You are sad when we run out of your favorite coffee creamer.
Clarification involves restating the person's statement in order to validate, gain a better understanding, and open the metaphorical door for the person to continue.
One of my readers communicated to me that she got a little lost in the lingo in the last post. I'm sorry if it was somewhat confusing.
So, I would like to do a little lesson to practice clarification.
Progress notes : notes that are kept in client's files (kind of like status updates but longer) that we write every time we see the client or communicate with someone on their behalf. Social workers use these to refer back to and these notes can sometimes be used in court.
SOC160 : A form required by many counties that has to be completed once a month. It's basically a form that you throw progress notes from your visit on and send it in. It allows the county to get credit for a visit for that month (even though you're the one doing all the work).
Quarterlies : These are reports that are completed every three months. They provide information about the last three months in a client's life as well as make action plans to address any problems or concerns with the clients.
NSP (Needs & Service Plan) : Similar to a quarterly, it is a report that assesses the needs of the client and comes up with action plans to fulfill those needs. These are done every 4-6 months.
Paperwork, etc : This includes all other forms to be completed on the client's behalf like clothing inventory, allowance tracking, physicals, dental visits, and any communication with their school and/or county social worker.
Mileage reimbursement : I am not paid to work at my internship, but when I go out on visits, I am reimbursed for mileage. This is super nice because I have homes that are 60 miles from my home.
Title IV-E program : aka the Child Welfare Training Project. It is a federal grant that supports most foster children/foster agencies, and also supports programs that turns out child welfare workers. I applied to be (and got in to be) part of the Title IV-E stipend program. I receive $37,000 over the two years of my MSW and in return, I have to work for the state for two years in child welfare after I graduate.
I hope I clarified some things for you and don't hesitate to comment if you're ever confused or have further questions. It can definitely be a land of dizzying lingo.
Well...I'm off. I leave tomorrow for the statewide meeting in LA. It will be interesting to be in a room with so many other social workers!
Have a great weekend!
"To listen is an effort, and just to hear is no merit. A duck hears also." -Igor Stravinsky
Monday, October 10, 2011
I've been missing for 11 days; Trudging through
So...you may or may not have noticed but I disappeared for eleven days. It wasn't a voluntary disappearance, I assure you. Call it kidnapping if you will; kidnapping by stress, reading, working, and trying to get my laundry done.
It has been a crazy two weeks. I've been a busy bee at work, trying to get all updated on all of my progress notes, SOC 160s, quarterlies, and just all paperwork in general.
Now, I started to write a post about a week ago and kept coming back to it. Here ya go:
"It's amazing what difference a day can make"
Tuesday was a crazy day. It was one of those days that you anticipate and dread at the same time, a day chalk full of emotions, and a day where you feel like you were running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
After worrying, being frustrated, and trying to wrap my head around all things internship related all weekend long, I arrived at my internship.
If you recall from one of my previous blogs "Fine Lines," I was very offended/frustrated when I was sent an email by my internship that said we would not be reimbursed for our mileage until all of our paperwork was completed and up-to-date. Needless to say, I entered my internship trying to remain calm while experiencing a vast amount of emotion under the surface.
I spent the morning before the staff meeting speaking with my fellow interns and just trying to figure out how to wrap my head around what was happening. Staff meeting started, and I could swear that our boss could see the fear/anger/frustration in our eyes. In the meeting she addressed the issue and said that she didn't mean to come off as harsh, but she did at the same time.
All of the interns were looking around at each other like "what?" She went on to explain that we were not responsible for anything that was due before we were allowed to start working with clients...but we are all still responsible for updating client's files.
*Insert collective sigh of relief*
I learned a variety of lessons that day:
In other news, I got an A on my first grad school research paper. Woohoo!! It was titled "Adoption Assistance and Foster Care: The Absence of Foster Parent Adoptions".
I will try to keep this updated this week...especially because I leave on Thursday to attend a meeting for the CALSWEC (CA Social Work Educators Committee) Title IV-E planning meeting in Los Angeles. I'm sure that's going to be an interesting and informative experience all on its own that I'll definitely have to document. For now, back to homework!
It has been a crazy two weeks. I've been a busy bee at work, trying to get all updated on all of my progress notes, SOC 160s, quarterlies, and just all paperwork in general.
Now, I started to write a post about a week ago and kept coming back to it. Here ya go:
"It's amazing what difference a day can make"
Tuesday was a crazy day. It was one of those days that you anticipate and dread at the same time, a day chalk full of emotions, and a day where you feel like you were running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
After worrying, being frustrated, and trying to wrap my head around all things internship related all weekend long, I arrived at my internship.
If you recall from one of my previous blogs "Fine Lines," I was very offended/frustrated when I was sent an email by my internship that said we would not be reimbursed for our mileage until all of our paperwork was completed and up-to-date. Needless to say, I entered my internship trying to remain calm while experiencing a vast amount of emotion under the surface.
I spent the morning before the staff meeting speaking with my fellow interns and just trying to figure out how to wrap my head around what was happening. Staff meeting started, and I could swear that our boss could see the fear/anger/frustration in our eyes. In the meeting she addressed the issue and said that she didn't mean to come off as harsh, but she did at the same time.
All of the interns were looking around at each other like "what?" She went on to explain that we were not responsible for anything that was due before we were allowed to start working with clients...but we are all still responsible for updating client's files.
*Insert collective sigh of relief*
I learned a variety of lessons that day:
- don't spend time freaking out/worrying about something before you know the facts
- don't underestimate/predict your co-workers/boss' actions
- don't panic over your workload before you know its magnitude
- if you just start working, you'll get more done which = less stress
- social work is stressful and you never know what it will throw at you (like life!)
In other news, I got an A on my first grad school research paper. Woohoo!! It was titled "Adoption Assistance and Foster Care: The Absence of Foster Parent Adoptions".
I will try to keep this updated this week...especially because I leave on Thursday to attend a meeting for the CALSWEC (CA Social Work Educators Committee) Title IV-E planning meeting in Los Angeles. I'm sure that's going to be an interesting and informative experience all on its own that I'll definitely have to document. For now, back to homework!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Pretty
My professor showed us this video in class the other day. Watch this and next time you tell someone you think they're pretty, you'll think twice. :)
Fine Lines: They're everywhere.
I'll be the first to tell you...they suck and they freak me out just a little bit.
We encounter fine lines all the time (whether we're aware of them or not) and they consistently guide how we make decisions in our lives.
For example: At times, there's a fine line between being rude and telling someone like it is. There can be a fine line between doing what society wants you to do and doing what is right for you....etc.
Since I've started my program I've come into contact with many fine lines.
Yesterday in SW 5030: Social Work Practice, Strengths based I learned that there is a very fine line between validating someone and showing them empathy. The different comes down to a choice of about five words and very minute facial expressions. So, you could be aiming to validate someone's feelings...but instead of your face showing understanding, your heart is getting in the way and forcing empathy to be written all over your face.
Allegation of child abuse can be an example of a fine line. It's a dizzying mess of he said/she said/they said and complications all around. What if the child is lying? Well, the child has a history of lying about big stuff. Well, the foster parent has never had any issues at all. Is considered to be a "model" foster parent. Well, we heard she's been under some stress recently. It's a bubble of confusion, and I'm glad I don't have to be the one that investigates and interviews and makes these kinds of decisions....yet.
As part of my stipend, I will have to work at Child Protective Services next year. While I look forward to gaining the experience and knowledge, I will admit that I am apprehensive and a little scared. CPS is well-known to be the hardest work in social work. As a CPS worker, you're on the front lines and have to make these types of decisions. Decisions about whether the child can remain in home, if they need to be removed, etc.
Decisions like these, especially because they usually are fine line decisions are difficult. You have to hope that your education and experience will guide you well...then you make what you think is the best decision...and hold on.
At the moment, I am being affected most by the fine line between education and being thrown to the sharks. As part of our program we have to work 16 hours a week in a field practicum placement (aka an internship). As I've stated before, I've been placed at a local foster family agency that is relatively small.
Initially I had a little bit of trouble adjusting to the vast amount of differences between this agency and my previous agency. After what seemed like very little amounts of training, on our second "official" day at the agency, we were given our caseloads. There have been many mixed messages passed around as to what we're supposed to be doing with our caseloads. We have been told to read up on all of them, note what needs updating, and to set up home visits. We're technically supposed to have supervising social workers, but they seem to only be supervising on specific kids.
So, we've essentially taken on the role of MSW-level social workers, managing caseloads of 7-12 foster children after only a month of being in the program. There are five of us interns and we have taken on around 70-80% of the agency's entire caseload.
It's stressful. Having to schedule three familes' two home visits a month when you're only in the office two days a week and they can only meet at 4:30...is daunting. I mentioned this offhand to my field liaison and he said "you guys should NOT have caseloads that large."
The kicker came yesterday in the form of an email from the agency. It informed us that we will not be given our mileage reimbursement checks until all of our clients files are updated.
WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We've only been allowed to actually see kids for seventeen days (6 working days for us). I haven't even met all of my clients. Can't update their files if I haven't met them. Also, some of the things in their files have been overdue since June (3 mos before we got here). *end rant here*.
We're supposed to be there to learn. I get it if their way of learning is to throw you in the pool and see if you can stay afloat, but...in this case, there's a fine line between providing a meaningful education and mentoring for the interns...and taking advantage of free labor.
When your interns can't get their reading and homework done because they didn't get home from a home visit till 7pm and had to spend their evening completing paperwork for the county, there's an issue.
I kind of want to confront my field liaison about this ...but I don't know if I'll do it without the support of my fellow interns. I don't want to seem like I'm not willing to do the work or grateful for a placement, or a snitch...because my field liaison loves my supervisor and thinks he's put us in the best placement. It's a hard fine line. Trust in your professor or follow your perceptions?
Encountering fine lines is just another lesson in school of life. After all, "experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards." -Anonymous
We encounter fine lines all the time (whether we're aware of them or not) and they consistently guide how we make decisions in our lives.
For example: At times, there's a fine line between being rude and telling someone like it is. There can be a fine line between doing what society wants you to do and doing what is right for you....etc.
Since I've started my program I've come into contact with many fine lines.
Yesterday in SW 5030: Social Work Practice, Strengths based I learned that there is a very fine line between validating someone and showing them empathy. The different comes down to a choice of about five words and very minute facial expressions. So, you could be aiming to validate someone's feelings...but instead of your face showing understanding, your heart is getting in the way and forcing empathy to be written all over your face.
Allegation of child abuse can be an example of a fine line. It's a dizzying mess of he said/she said/they said and complications all around. What if the child is lying? Well, the child has a history of lying about big stuff. Well, the foster parent has never had any issues at all. Is considered to be a "model" foster parent. Well, we heard she's been under some stress recently. It's a bubble of confusion, and I'm glad I don't have to be the one that investigates and interviews and makes these kinds of decisions....yet.
As part of my stipend, I will have to work at Child Protective Services next year. While I look forward to gaining the experience and knowledge, I will admit that I am apprehensive and a little scared. CPS is well-known to be the hardest work in social work. As a CPS worker, you're on the front lines and have to make these types of decisions. Decisions about whether the child can remain in home, if they need to be removed, etc.
Decisions like these, especially because they usually are fine line decisions are difficult. You have to hope that your education and experience will guide you well...then you make what you think is the best decision...and hold on.
At the moment, I am being affected most by the fine line between education and being thrown to the sharks. As part of our program we have to work 16 hours a week in a field practicum placement (aka an internship). As I've stated before, I've been placed at a local foster family agency that is relatively small.
Initially I had a little bit of trouble adjusting to the vast amount of differences between this agency and my previous agency. After what seemed like very little amounts of training, on our second "official" day at the agency, we were given our caseloads. There have been many mixed messages passed around as to what we're supposed to be doing with our caseloads. We have been told to read up on all of them, note what needs updating, and to set up home visits. We're technically supposed to have supervising social workers, but they seem to only be supervising on specific kids.
So, we've essentially taken on the role of MSW-level social workers, managing caseloads of 7-12 foster children after only a month of being in the program. There are five of us interns and we have taken on around 70-80% of the agency's entire caseload.
It's stressful. Having to schedule three familes' two home visits a month when you're only in the office two days a week and they can only meet at 4:30...is daunting. I mentioned this offhand to my field liaison and he said "you guys should NOT have caseloads that large."
The kicker came yesterday in the form of an email from the agency. It informed us that we will not be given our mileage reimbursement checks until all of our clients files are updated.
WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We've only been allowed to actually see kids for seventeen days (6 working days for us). I haven't even met all of my clients. Can't update their files if I haven't met them. Also, some of the things in their files have been overdue since June (3 mos before we got here). *end rant here*.
We're supposed to be there to learn. I get it if their way of learning is to throw you in the pool and see if you can stay afloat, but...in this case, there's a fine line between providing a meaningful education and mentoring for the interns...and taking advantage of free labor.
When your interns can't get their reading and homework done because they didn't get home from a home visit till 7pm and had to spend their evening completing paperwork for the county, there's an issue.
I kind of want to confront my field liaison about this ...but I don't know if I'll do it without the support of my fellow interns. I don't want to seem like I'm not willing to do the work or grateful for a placement, or a snitch...because my field liaison loves my supervisor and thinks he's put us in the best placement. It's a hard fine line. Trust in your professor or follow your perceptions?
Encountering fine lines is just another lesson in school of life. After all, "experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards." -Anonymous
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Commitment: To our phones, cars, friends, but not our foster kids?
Late on Sunday night I could be found curled up on my couch, working away at my problem formulation paper. Yes, yes...I know I have a problem. It's called procrastination. I'm working on it ;)
In my research class we were told to write a problem formulation paper. To think about a problem in society, formulate a research question, and discuss causes, factors, and possible solutions.
I chose to look at adoption assistance programs. After a few hours of research that left my brain spinning I discovered there were two types of adoption assistance (for the adoption of foster children): assistance with the costs of the adoption process and/or a recurring payment (usually in the same amount the foster parent was receiving while the child was in foster care) every month till the child is eighteen.
This left me wondering...why aren't more foster parents adopting if they can receive the financial assistance to do so?
Later in the paper I speculated that maybe they weren't doing so because of the commitment. Given, it is a rather large commitment. In addition to the financial and time commitments foster parents are already experiencing, it is a legal and final commitment to a child.
I'll be the first to tell you that commitments freak me out. I didn't sleep for a week when I bought my car, and recently, had a minor panic attack when I promised two years of my life after the MSW program away in exchange for a free MSW degree.
It makes me think about all the commitments we make in our lives like two year cell phone plans, cars, houses, credit cards, etc...and sometimes we don't even think about the commitment.
Commitments are great when you can foresee a way out, or even have a backup plan. Using this logic, I understand why most foster parents might not be willing to make the commitment. It's scary and there doesn't appear to be an easy way out if things get tough.
So, I offered a solution.
Offering post adoptive services like parental and child support groups, counseling, and respite may make the transition smoother and perhaps, not nearly as frightening. The feeling of being supported can not only make the foster parent feel safe but also the child, creating a seamless transition and a solid relationship.
It's kind of like that in life too. If I hadn't had my friends and significant other there to support me when I bought my car or signed years of my life away, I don't know if I would've done either..or if I did, I would probably worry myself to death.
Keep making responsible commitments, but keep your support system close. There won't always be post-commitment support services in real life situations.
In my research class we were told to write a problem formulation paper. To think about a problem in society, formulate a research question, and discuss causes, factors, and possible solutions.
I chose to look at adoption assistance programs. After a few hours of research that left my brain spinning I discovered there were two types of adoption assistance (for the adoption of foster children): assistance with the costs of the adoption process and/or a recurring payment (usually in the same amount the foster parent was receiving while the child was in foster care) every month till the child is eighteen.
This left me wondering...why aren't more foster parents adopting if they can receive the financial assistance to do so?
Later in the paper I speculated that maybe they weren't doing so because of the commitment. Given, it is a rather large commitment. In addition to the financial and time commitments foster parents are already experiencing, it is a legal and final commitment to a child.
I'll be the first to tell you that commitments freak me out. I didn't sleep for a week when I bought my car, and recently, had a minor panic attack when I promised two years of my life after the MSW program away in exchange for a free MSW degree.
It makes me think about all the commitments we make in our lives like two year cell phone plans, cars, houses, credit cards, etc...and sometimes we don't even think about the commitment.
Commitments are great when you can foresee a way out, or even have a backup plan. Using this logic, I understand why most foster parents might not be willing to make the commitment. It's scary and there doesn't appear to be an easy way out if things get tough.
So, I offered a solution.
Offering post adoptive services like parental and child support groups, counseling, and respite may make the transition smoother and perhaps, not nearly as frightening. The feeling of being supported can not only make the foster parent feel safe but also the child, creating a seamless transition and a solid relationship.
It's kind of like that in life too. If I hadn't had my friends and significant other there to support me when I bought my car or signed years of my life away, I don't know if I would've done either..or if I did, I would probably worry myself to death.
Keep making responsible commitments, but keep your support system close. There won't always be post-commitment support services in real life situations.
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